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 |  Subject: Trust. It's Important  Tue Aug 30, 2011 11:44 pm | |
| Trust. It isn’t a tangible thing, but its importance outweighs any physical gift you could ever receive. What does it mean to trust someone though, and why is it important? Well the easy answer, is safety. In a relationship you want to feel safe and confident with your partner. If you feel that you can trust them with a secret or trust that they won’t hurt you (emotionally, physically, or mentally) then you feel safe and confident. You feel on top of the world because you’re happy with the person you’re with and you know they would go to war for you (metaphorically) in a second.
So when two people meet for the first time, in a dating scenario, the process of producing trust begins.
There are several situations to consider. First what if someone professes to be trustworthy, but in fact does not have completely genuine intentions? This might be the case if one person was looking to manipulate the other into getting something that he/she wanted. Not necessarily in a devious manner, but rarely is this an admirable trait. Intuition is often the only shield against this type of manipulation, as those professing to be trustworthy are usually quite good as building that image. Over time, their charade would surely deteriorate, but they don’t plan on being around long enough for that to happen.
Assuming that both individuals eventually want the same thing (a loving relationship) it's important that both are VERY aware of how important it is to build trust.
It starts with simple things: being there on time, calling when promised, following-up. It's plain and simple, and is rooted in effective and courteous communication.
Despite its relative ease, so many people seem to fail at this, without ever realizing the consequences. If in the early stages of dating the guy doesn't call on time, doesn't make plans, or flakes out, what kind of message do you think is being sent?
Moreover, once trust has been compromised or begins to fall apart – it is hard, if not impossible, to build up again. It's very hard to recover anything past this stage. Guys need to understand that by being inconsistent, not only are they hurting these ladies’ feelings, but they’re creating a poor reputation for themselves right off the bat. The same goes for girls, though men are often the more stubborn of the two sexes.
How hard is it to pick up the phone and be honest if you don't feel that the chemistry is there? It's basic courtesy and nothing bad will happen. The other person won't chew you out. On the contrary, you two may decide to become plutonic friends instead of lovers. Or you may even build a stronger foundation and discover a side of that person that you never knew existed. | |
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