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|Subject: How to Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:30 am|| |
All relationships are built on trust between two people. If this trust is betrayed, steps must be taken to regain a healthy, trusting bond. Knowing that you have hurt your partner and want to rebuild your relationship, you must reach out to the other person and offer a solution to the problem. Whether you have been lying about your extravagant shopping habit or have reconnected with an interested ex, you must take steps to rebuild your partner's trust.
Apologize to your partner.
Express to your partner that you know that what you did was wrong and that you are sorry for hurting his or her feelings. Do not blurt out an apology in the heat of the moment, instead pick a time when you are both calm and willing to listen to each other. Otherwise, the apology is like putting a bandage on a wound without treating it. It may be a good idea to write out your apology before you speak to your partner so that you are sure to say everything you feel you need to express. Make sure your apology is genuine or it will be meaningless.
Listen to how your partner feels.
Knowing how your actions have affected your partner will help you both construct a plan to rebuild his or her trust in you. Insist that he explain exactly how he feels about your actions, only if all of your partner's feelings and concerns are addressed will your partner be able to trust you again. Otherwise, resentment and anger will continue to linger and damage your relationship. You may want to suggest that your partner writes down what he wishes to say so that he or she can express everything and does not leave out details that might breed resentment later in the relationship.
Make promises to fix your mistake.
You and your partner must develop a concrete plan of action that addresses the original problem. For example, you will quit hiding clothing purchases from him or her or you will stop talking to your ex who is still interested in pursuing a relationship with you. You may want to set deadlines for when you should meet your promise. Create a plan you can act on within a timely manner, but also give you and your partner some flexibility within the arrangement to allow for extenuating circumstances.
Carry through with your promises.
Breaking your partner's trust again could possibly mean he or she will never trust you again. Keep in mind that your action plan is not set in stone; you and your partner can tweak your agreement over time so that he is able to rebuild his trust in you in the healthiest way possible. After a pre-established period of time, discuss with your partner his or her feelings and yours on the situation. Hopefully you will have regained their trust and your relationship can continue on stronger than ever.