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|Subject: Discover Why Your Spouse Is Not Talking To You Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:55 pm|| |
Did you and your spouse get into a HUGE fight that they walked out on you? Did they come home telling you they need some space and now you're sitting alone by yourself-missing your spouse? Some how, things between you and your spouse turned for the worse and now you're trying to figure out how you can get on their good side again. If your spouse is barely talking to you, here are some things you need to keep in mind if you don't want your spouse to end up as an "ex."
Behind everyone's motive, they do things and make choices out of gaining pleasure and comfort. If your spouse associates you with pleasure, they will continually seek more for pleasure. Same goes with positive emotions like happiness, comfort, security and excitement. If your spouse associates you with discomfort, pain, fear or any other toxic emotions, you will be the last person they want to be around.
People (including your spouse) have 1 out of 2 different perspectives about you. The way they see you will depend on the feelings you bring out in them. Think about it, do you like to be around people that makes you feel horrible or uncomfortable? Or would you rather be around people that makes you feel great and welcomed? People will see you in a negative or positive perspective just as you do with them.
Positive Vs. Negative Perspectives
If your spouse sees you in a negative perspective, when they're around you, negative emotions will generate. If you and your spouse often argue, fight or end up in a full blown screaming fight, they will associate those feelings to you. It's no wonder they want to stay away from you because who would be want to be near people who make them feel awful? It doesn't even have to be as dramatic as hair pulling or screaming, resentment can easily build up over time, eventually causing a huge rift between you two.
That's why so many people's spouse whom who has cheated on them need as much space as they can to heal. The negative feelings they have are associated to their spouse's infidelity.
Have you ever eaten at a restaurant with bad service and food? If you have, you're most likely not going to go back to eat there because you associate that restaurant to painful experiences.
If your spouse sees you in a positive perspective, you help bring out positive feelings like joy, happiness, contentment, safety and encouragement. If you and your partner enjoy positive experiences together, you guys are associating pleasure to being around each other. Do you have certain friends that you feel in complete comfort to be around? That's because you associate positive experiences that generates positive feelings to these friends.
If you take time out of your daily life to cultivate your relationship and bring out positive feelings in your spouse, you're is set to succeed.
Has your spouse ever cheated on you? If they have, I'm sincerely sorry for your pain but if you think about it, your spouse associated pleasure (in more sense than one) with the person they were having an affair with. People who meet their spouse's every need and in return, their needs are met as well, are less likely to have an affair because they associate positive feelings to their marriage.
Why Your Spouse Is Not Talking to You
Your spouse is not speaking to you because they associate pain with thoughts of you. If you guys constantly fight, they may just had enough of the painful feelings associated to fighting. If you constantly email, text or bug them about taking you back, you are most likely pushing them away.
You are putting pressure on them by constantly contacting them. If they respond to any of your messages with signs of wanting to reconcile, than that's a good thing for you. If they don't respond to any of your calls, it's time for you to give them that space they need.
How to Get Your Spouse to Talk to You
If you want to change your spouse's perspective of you, you're going to have to do the opposite of what you've done. Give them what they want. A relationship is a two way street. Both of you guys are responsible to why your relationship is troubled. If you admit your part and apologize genuinely, your spouse's perspective of you will soften. It will take time and effort but you can change the way your spouse sees you.
Accept what went wrong and let them know. If your husband or wife wants some space, tell them you think it's a good idea and that you would like some space too. By doing this, you may completely surprise your ex because they were expecting another argument.
You want to change your spouse's mindset about the marriage and you can do that if you help them associate good feelings when they think about you.