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 Do I love him?

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PostSubject: Do I love him?   Do I love him? Icon_minitimeSat Sep 10, 2011 7:58 am

This story started when i entered my college life. it was June 2006, it was our first Saturday class, in this class our teachers group us into 10, i was in group 7 then, no one of my group mates know me as well as me don’t know them too. So after the grouping we had our first meeting for the group, they was pointing me to join the pageant search i was shock because i don’t even like to join like this contest, but our leader forced me to join, i never said no. to him. the contest was happened and that time our leader who forced me named “carl”(change name)started to show me something bother my mind, then it went that he court me. He court me for how many months, one day i asked him a favor, ‘he said “yes i will if you will say you love me too, i laugh and just said “Okey we are now…

He did not get what i mean, so i laugh until he get it, started that day (Saturday)we are GF/BF, but after a week we split because of what i did, i just laugh for what i did because i didn’t feel love for him. after the semester for that school year he transfer a school for him not to see me. After a year I was second year then I have a classmate whose a boyish her name is sha2(changed) she have her GF of course we know that but we become close when our classmates are always went home for them to take their lunch to their houses, because of i am not able to went home every now in then because our school is far from our house, she always accompanied me, until such time she tell me about her crush, she told me she did not love her GF anymore, that’s why i ask her
“who’s that girl? she never answered my question.

Until one night she texted me, and tell me about the questions i asked her,”she told me that i am her crush that she love me.i am not shock what she told me because i feel it every time we are together, i told her too that i love her even though its not, for me to have a companion every lunch, i just laugh every time she said”I love you” personally, she never hear a word like that from me because i feel i was so stupid loving her’ i always thinking were both girls why should i love her? why should i say those words to her, we stay together for almost 3months. after that we are break, after the relationship we made were not talking for almost a year but still i’m confident studying while she is still bother, she don’t want to talk with me even we our outings or social affairs in school she’s not attending on it…

Another year came and i have a new friend a boy named “Jame” (change) a friend whose showing me the i am important to him, he always showing that he care for me. after a year of our friendship we became more than friend or just say he became my boyfriend. the truth is i don’t love him but because of what he showed to me the care and of course the gifts of friendship. until such time his brother died of course i was their to accompany him for being lonely, but after a month of his loneliness i notice that his feelings for me was change i don’t even blame him because i know that he knows that i don’t love him rather..

Until such time i feel i missed him.. the way we talk, the times we dated together.
but its over, its all done and never be repeat again cause he have his GF now that very much love him….

I never regret all the times i have a BF because all of this has a purpose., i’d love by a boyish, by a friend but never love them. it’s because i have to learn more about love , on how to love, i’ve learn love is not for fun… you should be mature in loving but never be serious if you have not yet ready to marry.
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