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|Subject: Jealousy in a Relationship - Things You Should Know Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:40 am|| |
What is the meaning of jealousy? Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection.
The Source of Jealousy
Jealousy caused by two things:
1. Past experience. If you've ever been cheated on in the past, this will encourage you to be more possessive for fear of repetition. You will strive to prevent and deter the potencies that cause your partner to turn away from you.
2. One's own issues with self-confidence and lack of self-esteem. These factors are the main cause of jealousy. You feel that you're not good enough and someone else look better than you, so that you feel threatened by it. Watching your significant other interacts with other person, makes you feel worried that he/she may be "stolen" from you. If you've only been with him/her for a short time, you may even be bothered by the close bond he/she has with his/her friends, whom he/she has known for a long time.
Is Jealousy Dangerous?
In general, jealousy divided into 3 phases:
1. Natural jealousy. For example: not enjoying the sight when your partner is taking a walk and photo with another person, or feel disappointed when it turns out he/she likes someone else. Such jealousy is still acceptable and there is not much negativity about it.
2. Healthy jealousy. You begin to feel anxious and suspicious of your partner. However, if this jealousy is not settled quickly, it's likely this jealousy will grow to the final stage.
3. Obsessive jealousy. You begin to question the loyalty of your partner and soon this jealousy will lead you to anger, aggressive and rude attitude. Even, a friendly conversation between your partner and the other person will be considered as flirting. This is a form of defense mechanism against the potencies that threaten your relationship.
Jealousy would threaten a relationship when it reaches the 3rd stage because it will eat up the sense of trust one with another and you will often spend the time with fights. Furthermore, you will tend to focus on what could happen rather than what is happening. If jealousy is an issue in your life, I suggest that you try to understand your behavior and what's underneath it and then you can begin to take steps to heal it.