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|Subject: Why some people never recorver from break ups. Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:58 am|| |
A research was carried out on the level of break-ups after which it proved that more than 60% of relationships end in breakups. These people who broke up was not because they do not love their partners but due to the fact that they used the relationships to satisfy their unmet needs . After these breakups it is normal to feel depressed or lonely but what I do not agree is when the feelings stay long.
In this article I will concentrate only on why some people find it hard or never recover from breakups so that if you are in such relationship, you should know what causes breakups and those things that can hinder a person from recovering. If you already broke up, then jump to this article how to recover from break_ups.
Why they never recover from break-ups. A person may find it the hard way to recover from break ups when he/she happens to fall in one of the below mentioned.
Relationship dependency. Relationship dependency is when a person jumps into a relationship just to feel good or accepted by others. People at times find pleasure and excitement in relationships and although they might be in true love, but they unconsciously aware of the fact that they depended on the relationships to feel happy. The problem here is that, when break up strikes such people will return to their previous stage of life (unwanted stage) because they depended on the relationships to feel good.
For example, a girl who has been ignored by her friends for not being popular may find happiness being with a popular guy so as to be regarded a popular girl. What if this relationship terminates? The reality here is that she will be heart broken for months if not years not because she missed her guy but because she used the relationship to satisfy her social problems.
False belief about the one/soul mate. This is a situation where someone completely considers his partner (soul mate/the one) to be the only march for her and if in case this soul mate dumped her, he will be facing hell during this period as a result of false belief.
We have certain love criteria which when someone marches them we tend to fall in love with the person. If your old partner matches 62% of your love criteria and you found someone who matches 70% he will definitely be the best match. So considering someone to be the one (the only match) is a false belief and this factor also hinders recovery.
Denial. Denial is when you completely deny or rely on hope that the relationship is not over and you stay by the phone waiting his call or going to the places you both used to go with the hope of meeting him there. Am not saying you should not try to resolve it but when it is certain that there is no hope then you must find a way to convince your self that it's over so that your subconscious mind begins the healing process.
There are other factors but I pointed these points because they are the main reasons that hinder recovery after break ups.