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|Subject: Tips for Nurturing Your Relationship: Is it Time to Rekindle the Romance? Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:27 am|| |
Powerful Tips for Nurturing Your Relationship
Is it Time to Rekindle the Romance?
1. INTEGRATION IS KEY
MAKE ROOM FOR YOU: Remember the movie Jerry McGuire when last line was “You complete me” and everyone thought that was so romantic? This is precisely that we want to shift away from! We want to work on feeling "whole" within so that we magnetize a partner that is in alignment with us, or stay in balance with our existing partner. It is actually very dis-empowering to you and to your relationship to shift the responsibility for being “whole” to being with a partner. Successful partnerships beautifully weave their connection with one another with individual strength and power. It's about knowing you are solid on your own and your partner only enhances that feeling of fulfillment in your life. It is from this energetic space that you connect with your inner source of personal power, brilliance and love within, and allow for a deeper, greater flow of love between you and your partner. What happens next is that your partnership enhances your life versus defining it.
MAKE ROOM FOR "US": Integration also refers to transitioning frombeing totally self focused into making room for partnership that requires loving consideration, compassion, and open communication on a daily basis. It's all about creating a win/win formula for creating a deeper, more solid connection with one another. It's shifting from a "co-dependent" dance to an inter-dependent dance that feeds both of you from the inside-out.
2. SHIFT FROM STAGNACY TO GROWTH AND EXPANSION: Nothing is static in life. Everything changes. This applies to your relationship, as well. So you must be prepared to allow room for personal and collective growth with your partner. Sometimes communication can become stagnant, routines can take away excitement or passion, or you may feel the desire to soar while your partner is stuck! To fully integrate and consciously allow your relationship to evolve in a positive way, you must anticipate and support a fluid personal and collective growth process into your relationship. This growth and evolution is essential for a thriving partnership.
3. SHIFT FROM NEGLECT TO NURTURING
CHOOSE TO REMAIN CONNECTED. As many of you know, I'm all about setting intentions and making conscious choices. After the infatuation wears off, many of us know what it feels like to start focusing on the disappointments and we begin sweating the small stuff! When you make a commitment to really listen to your partner, ask questions, show that you are interested in how they are feeling and what's going on in their heart, mind and spirit on a regular basis, you put yourself in the drivers seat of your relationship. Partnerships require love, nurturing and regular attention. When you consciously choose to be present and available to your partner on a soul to soul level, you will notice your connection deepening in beautiful new ways. When you consistently choose to put your attention and focus on your partner and make the relationship a priority, you will consciously create the fulfilling relationship you desire and deserve.
4. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS FROM WHAT'S NOT WORKING TO WHAT IS WORKING:
Remember, what you focus on expands, and energy goes where energy flows! When you choose to focus on what's working in your relationship, you will notice yourself becoming much happier and content. Make a commitment to regularly remembering why you fell in love in the first place. Why did you choose to open your heart to this individual in the beginning? Keep in mind what happens when you praise a child for good behavior.They repeat the behavior because it feels good to you and that good feeling gets transmitted to them! So, when we remind our loved ones why we love them, they are motivated to exhibit the behaviors we love! Love needs to be nurtured and revitalized to keep romance alive and keep the relationship evolving through the ups, downs and challenges of time and experiences. So, it's important to repeatedly tell your partner what you love and appreciate in them. Just because you think he or she knows how you feel about him/her doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell them! Or, just because you've said it before, it's worth repeating! When you appreciate your partner, they shine even more brightly. So, choose to focus on what's right in the relationship. Choose to nurture the great qualities. This will pave the way for even more love.
5. SHIFT FROM ROUTINE TO RE-KINDLING:
Remember that the little things matter!When you take the time to write your partner a note, get them a flower, cook them dinner, call them during the day to just say "I love you" or simply show kindness, respect, admiration, and consideration for them, their heart will open and their love will flow. If you want to get back to feeling the passion in your relationship, focus on regularly giving and receiving these small gifts of love every day. What do you know that makes your partner feel special and loved? Do these things on a consistent basis and you will feed the relationship with the love vitamins it needs to thrive! I want to add that it's equally important to put yourself in a receiving mode, so that you can openly, gracefully and joyfully receive their love gifts to you as well! This opens the door for a healthy flow of giving and receiving and the rewards are priceless!
6. SHIFT FROM KEEPING SCORE TO GIVING MORE
When you consciously choose to give without expecting anything in return, you will change your relationship completely- for the better! Taking on the role of martyr by always giving and requiring nothing in return is not the answer, but when you have two people who are choosing to give without any expectation of getting something in return, magic begins to happen! Remember the importance of being the change you want to see in the relationship. If you want more "something" in a relationship, start with giving what you want to receive.For example, if you want more attention, give more attention. If you want more affection, give more affection. If you want more patience, be more patient. Just "BE" whatever it is what you feel you're missing from your partner and watch things begin to change...
7. SHIFT FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Our relationships are mirrors. They are our greatest opportunity for growth. When you consciously choose to approach your challenges as golden opportunities to know yourself and heal yourself, everything changes. Don't waste these divinely designed chances for soul expansion and personal growth! When there is conflict, which is inevitable in most relationships, there is so much that you can use for your individual and collective advantage. Every perceived "problem" is a beautiful blessing in disguise. When you shift your perspective and allow these opportunities to be stepping stones to greater awareness and connection, your partnership with flourish and thrive like never before.
8. SHIFT FROM COMPLAINING TO COMMUNICATING:
Remember this powerful truth and you will can change in an instant: What you resist persists! Anything you bottle up will blow eventually, and those explosions can take many forms; sickness, depression, acting out in ways that sound demanding or nagging toward your partner. The only thing that can break an unhealthy pattern is open, direct communication/ Try this very effective exercise when experiencing conflict with your partner: Each person has their opportunity to speak. Each responds to the following question "What was your experience"? The idea here isn't for one to convince the other that he/she is "right". It's about addressing the challenge, not getting into the blame game. This exercise requires active listening which is about hearing what the person you love experienced. You don't have to agree with their perception or perspective to empathize with them. Compassion reconnects you with your partner. Your ability to choose to see and feel a situation from your loved ones' perspective is very powerful and very healing. This builds trust and opens the gateway to healing, growth and connection.
9. SHIFT FROM BLAME TO TAKING OWNERSHIP:
In order to feel true fulfillment and happiness, you must take responsibility for your experiences. No one can make you happy. You have to grab hold of the reigns and realize that your actions, responses, your perceptions and your focus determines the way that you experience life. Whenever you hear yourself saying "You're making me miserable," or "It's your fault because...." know that these are clues that you have detoured from the inter-dependent track onto a co-dependent one. There is a difference between healthy reliance and debilitating dependence. Part of true intimacy is knowing that there are times when we will rely on each other, but the key to happiness lies within YOU.
10. SHIFT FROM BITTERNESS TO FORGIVENESS:
Your capacity for self reflection and the ability to release resentments or any desire for retribution is a real key to the success of your relationship. Apologizing and asking for forgiveness as well as accepting forgiveness is a crucial component for intimacy. When you can look your partner in the eyes with a genuine expression of apology and/or forgiveness, it builds a strong foundation made up of deep trust, understanding and resiliency. That connection cannot be severed or broken.