Mixed Emotions

Subject: Mixed Emotions Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:13 pm

I feel so diffident in your presence,
Your confident playfulness drips all over me
You played with me like a little boy
Would play . . . You have spiraled my emotions
I sit here speechless . . . First you smelled my hair.
I looked at your little soft body
Your innocence concealed by others
But blaring loud in my ears as the
80's music further enticed my need for
summer love
Your weariness shows in your dark
Puppy eyes . . . your life, your experience
your hurt, carefully put away. I reach out to you
To embrace you, to let you know I care
More than anyone ever could. I touch your
soft skin. Our bodies fit perfectly as we embrace
Like two perfectly crafted puzzle pieces.
If only I could kiss you passionately,
Without hesitation. Without any of the thoughts
of entangled relationships.
Our hearts both contain so much complexity
Our pasts sickly warped . . .
But the noise of the silent summer
Molds our problems into one shared love. It seems that to you it
is all so superficial, and it saddens me to
know I love you from the deepest hole in my
Heart. You are beautiful, innocent, my little
Boy. We long to play, frolic, and never grow up.
Yet we are drawn together by our soft lips craving for
fulfillment. Longing to be held and loved . . . But do you
Really feel more, do you hold that capacity to love
As deeply as I do? . . . No you are just a little boy, but I am
Just as innocent, so maybe you do love me
As I love you. Your summer love. I crave your
Innocence. Your pillow lips still linger on my neck
You have made me feel so giggly and bubbly inside
Perhaps I don't have to grow up. Perhaps this hope
That you have given me can last a few months, or until
we see each other once again. I feel so happy, so passionate,
so optimistic. How could you do that to me? What
An incredible aura you give off. But perhaps I interpret your
Flirtatious gestures as more than they are. But you kept me to
yourself. You took authority and told the swarming boys
around me to leave me alone . . . For I belonged to you
That's what you said. Your little hand dangled in the air,
waiting for me to come to your side. Yes, you indicated
your need for me, but there is that chance that you
wish for something in the shallow waters. But whatever my contortions
of your feelings may be, you've allowed me to dream of love once again.
But the fear of hurt lies in the background, as I know
You aren't strong, confusion lurks in your soft eyes.
Despite your problems, I love you and you have made
me feel truly overwhelmed. Truly happy. Truly full of
Wholeness and love. Let's snuggle. Smile with me
Tickle me and make me
Giggle!

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