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 |  Subject: Finding the Right Words to Say You're No Longer in Love  Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:34 pm | |
| f you can fall in love, then you can also fall out of love. Between the two, though, as much as possible you want to avoid the latter. Nevertheless, it can happen, and rather than allow the relationship to drag on, you might as well learn how to say you're going to end it.
Though there's no easy way in saying good-bye, you can still do something to make sure it hurts the least:
1. Assess your real emotions.
Perhaps what you're feeling right now is just a fleeting emotion, which means you will be back to being romantic any day. It would be too bad to end a relationship for such type of feeling. Nevertheless, you still have to do this to know the real reason why you are falling out of love in the first place. You owe it to your partner to be totally honest about it.
2. Talk about it.
Don't just drop the bomb and walk away. Always keep in mind that there will always be two people in the relationship. Allow the other person to say his piece and even do something to salvage the relationship. This also means that you have to listen to what he's going to say. There's a good chance that he's going to have excellent points, and you may not have to say good-bye to the relationship after all.
3. End the communication.
Should you really decide that the relationship is no longer worth saving, make sure that you can cut all the ties in the meantime. This doesn't mean that you will not end up as friends. However, being open to communication may just give him false hopes that you are just going to come back anytime soon. The healing process will take a much longer time if you permit communication to still happen.
4. Get rid of the anxiety.
You may be used to having him around, and you may be tempted to come back to him even if you're not really fully committed. You love the safety and comfort the relationship brings. Make it a point to stop your anxiety and the thought of being completely alone. After all, being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely.
When you're having a hard time doing this, consider using subliminal messages such as these:
I can handle myself well.
I need to be strong for myself.
I have a lot of inner strength I can draw from.
I am looking forward to the good things the future will bring me.
These subliminal messages have an immense power to change a negative emotion such as anxiety or depression to a positive one such as optimism.
5. Don't immediately jump into another relationship.
Do give yourself some time before you go on a romantic date. You don't want to be on the rebound. Allow yourself to feel whole again on your own. You also need to ensure you can fix whatever issues you have before you can consider getting into another relationship. | |
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